My thoughts on nursing homes in San Francisco.

In these past couple of weeks, as my grandma's health declined, she was moved to a nursing home. The first one she moved into was only temporary and she was only there for 2 days. She was moved into a room with 2 other people with her bed being the one in the center. Her neighbor near the door was a Mandarin speaking lady that was super nice and the other one was asleep every time I visited. This nursing home had a prison vibe to it; they had very limited visiting hours and they have policy that you cannot take a patient out for more then 4 hours at once. The check in desk was also very tall counter that made me tippy toe to see what I was signing... Then there was the elevator that led to the floor my grandma was staying at. The layout of this floor was also very hospital like. There was a central where the nurses sat, and kept track of their patients. Going there was not a very pleasant experience. I am glad that she moved out of that one. 

That also the same nursing home that my great grandpa stayed at. Gotta admit, it did make visiting both grandparents a lot easier. My great grandpa is getting close to reaching a century!! Pretty impressive! But on the down side when I went to visit him. He seemed very hollowed out. I called him a few times and was completely ignored. I think I got ignored to the point where I was invisible. Also not a good feeling but I know he is old and he might have not heard me or recognize me. That also brings me to thinking about aging.. but that would have to be another day. 

Back to nursing homes. So after staying in the first nursing home for few days, and after what felt like a million phone calls later she was transferred to Kindred in the sunset. When she was transferred her, I was excited to hear that there were no limited visiting hours!!! I can come here anytime of the day!!! This was truly a blessing! Because of the flexible visiting hours, I was able to take my time in getting off work and going to the gym before visiting my grandma!

What I also liked about this nursing home is that the nurses here are super nice! Majority of them are Filipino speaking nurses but the ones that took care of my grandma were able to ask the basic questions and tried to communicate with my grandma. I really appreciated the effort.

This nursing home also had a large dining area on the ground floor which made it easy for patients with trouble walking to access. When my grandma first moved in here, she would sit in this common area couple hours a day so she doesn't have to be cooped up in her room all day. As her health declined, she went out there less and less. The last time I took her out there was last Sunday. I sat in the dining room with her for 5 hours. She was dosing in and out of her sleep while I played on my phone and day dreamed. But I know that she was really happy that  I was there!

For these past couple of days, my grandma's health declined exponentially. She went from very alert to not knowing what she is talking about. I came to visit on Thursday night 8pm and she asked me what time was it and why I was there so early, and why am I not going to work. Then I told her that I got off work, and went to Muay Thai before coming here. After explaining that, she asked me the same thing 10 mins later. At the point I knew that not enough oxygen is reaching her brain to make her think clearly. Since that day, she sleeps probably 20 hours a day because of the medications she was given. 

Medication was another thing that made her feel worse the more she took. Seeing her health decline and how much she is suffering makes me fell really useless that there's nothing I can do to help. =(

-Tiffany 

Terrible April 2015

April really spiraled down for me and it happened so quickly that tears soaked my pillow case every other night. For a person that rarely cries, this really was a terrible month for me.....

1)      My grandma being sick: This probably is the biggest shock to me. She is someone that I love with all my heart and was there for me since the day I was born. My grandma brought me and my brother up, from bathing us, taking us to school, making our lunch, and teaching us the rights and wrongs in life. She is a very strong and independent woman that I really look up to. Now seeing her so weak and small makes me really scary about everything esp aging. =(

2)      Losing a friendship: For about a month and a half talking to J made me really happy. He was someone that I looked forward to talking to every night. Even though we were just friends, he made me feel really special. He was one of the very few people that I felt really cared about how I felt and what was going through my head. When we hung out he would suggest all these things that we should go next time…and every time he said that I would cringe a little because I always worried that next time wouldn’t come. In April, next time never came….

3)      Broken relationship: Seeing a couple that was ideal to me fall apart is very surreal. When everything is ok and all of a sudden it’s not is really scary. I make me lose faith in all relationships in general. I hope everything will be ok but this one is also one that is out of my control.

4)      Breaking out: Growing up, acne was never an issue. I was blessed with nice skin and water and moisturizer was my only skin care routine. When I was 23, I broke out with cystic acne, and that took about 2 years to fully clear. From then, I was really careful with what touched my face and makeup I used. For about 3 years, I kept my face under control and would get a pimple in a blue moon. Ever since April, I started breaking out again. I thought it was probably due to the time of the month. But as that ended the acne is still not going away… Now, this also adds to the things I stress about. =(

Little things that added to terrible April:

1)      Losing my one of my favorite earring, diamond stud that I rarely take off.

2)      Having my car keyed at a supermarket

3)      Parents getting into an accident (Thankful that no one was hurt)

4)      Hair cut too short

5)      Cousins moved out

Update to life...2015 and Heart to Heart

2015  was a great start for me. Much more than I can ever ask for! I went to LA with my family did lots of fun activities including Universal Studios, Griffith Exploratory, Palm Spring Outlet, Disneyland countdown for the new years, and ate lots of good food!

My mom on a bike!! Feeling so cool!

Walk of fame with a head tilt. LOL

First time driving for Melanie. I am so brave to join the ride!

Last few hours of 2014 and entering 2015!! Family!

As 2015 start, I was surprised with more exciting news! YAY!! I got a promotion! This is my first promotion ever and I was pretty surprised by it! I have been with the company for a very short time and totally did not expect that!! But that also made me really happy because not only did I get the benefits of getting a promotion, I also realized how I was viewed and valued at work. That actually makes waking up in the morning ( hardest task of the day: peel myself off my bed) more bearable. 

I feel very fortunate to be part of DMPK and have very supportive supervisors and coworkers. This is actually the best of about my career! I still remember the day when D- sat me down in his office and did my performance review. He told me that I was a very happy person and was really glad to have me as an addition to his team. He told me that he really enjoyed the positivity I brought to the team and I should never lose that in my work career. But what stood out the most was when he said "I am here to guild you to building a successful career, so whenever you have any questions do not hesitate to ask." From this I was so happy that I can feel my eyes well up. 

Aside from work, 2015 had also been a year where Mercury Retrograde has been working its wonders. I've met a few new friend and reconnected with a few old friends. Meeting new friends is never the same as reconnecting with the old friends. I feel like with old friend theres better connection and chemistry.  

Domo is an old friend that I made years ago for a friend's master program graduation. I am really happy to see that he is still around after so many years! 

Chester: my new friend! LOL

Dinner with Yuka and Emily @ State Bird Provision!! So good I made another reservation for May 7!! Super excited!!

Ti Flee Market again! I love music, sun, and food on a sunny Sunday!

Chinese New Years rolled around again: I am not too sure what this is saying but something along the line of my "Mr.Right" will show up in the fall. Lets see if this is true! HAHA

Weekend baking: Reversed Engineered Rebel Within. The egg is over done =( but it still tasted alright... Will need to try again for improvements! 

14.7 miles hike on the Big Basin! #Weekendwarriors Super proud of us! and I love waterfalls!

Land's End Trail: Sometimes it is really nice to go for a nature walk and enjoy the city. I lived here all my life and 350/365 days in a year I take it for granted. Life sometimes gets so busy that I don't even care about the little things in life. Example: I take SF weather for granted. I don't really think about how great I have it until I travel to a different city and wants to go home. #citygirl

Baked Guinness cupcakes for St. Patty's Day! They were so good that people at the bar started paying us for them and they was a first for us! 

Reconnected with a friend from college. It was a great month that we talked and laughed and spent together but XYZ reason, its really hard to maintain this friendship...I truly value this person but at the same time its not up to me to keep this friendship. 

Seattle: Cold, Rainy, Windy

Rachel's Ginger Beer! 

My first foam stache @ Starbucks Tasting Room

Enjoying the sunset at TurtleHill with my YSL!

Lunar Eclipse @3am Ocean Beach

5:30am Battery Spencer

Got Air? I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky...

When the sun finally made its grand appearance!!

2015 is also about eating clean, detoxing, and building a better Tiffany!